"A leader is a dealer in hope." Napoleon Bonaparte
Last night the Kanas City Chiefs beat the Cincinnati Bengals in a game that came down to the last play.
On that last play, Bengals linebacker Joseph Ossai pushed the Chiefs quarterback as he fell out of bounds, resulting in a 15-yard penalty. This penalty set up an easy field goal for Kansas City to win.
You can't help but feel for a guy who makes this kind of mistake at the end of one of the biggest games of his life. When the game was over, he sat on the bench and appeared to be crying and emotional.
This morning I saw two different scenarios of how his teammates interacted with him. And it reminded me of a podcast I listened to last week about how great leaders are a counterweight to others' emotions.
One teammate sat on the bench beside him, hugging, consoling, and telling him that the loss was not his fault and to keep his head up. The other yelled, "Why did you touch the quarterback!" as they entered the locker room.
I understand how both could have happened. This was a highly emotional situation.
But, as a leader, you must always consider your response.
In the Huberman Lab podcast, Jacko Willink said, "As a leader, as a friend, a parent, a spouse, you want to be able to modulate wins and losses. If your kid walks off the wrestling mat for a high five and you say, 'you could have done better,' or tell your kid after a loss, 'you got what you deserve,' you've got to be the counterweight to the emotions that other people have. And when you are doing a good job as a leader, you are doing a good job at being a counterweight."
Being a good leader doesn't mean having a responsibility to tell people when they have done something wrong or pour fire on an already emotional situation.
Leaders are more like a bucket of water to put the fire out. As the quote says above, leaders are dealers in hope.
This goes both ways. If your kid wants to celebrate too much after a victory and starts thinking too highly of him or herself, it's up to you to help them appreciate their effort and bring them back to reality. After all, all glory is fleeting.
Willink said, "we have to find balance in life for ourselves and help provide that for other people because people are emotional and get caught up in what they are doing, and you want to help them stay balanced."
To be a great leader, be a counterbalance in high and low situations.